A taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

I will be honest, I did not have high expectations going into this book, something about the blurb just made me think it was not going to deliver, but it was just constantly popping up in my feeds like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

Sadly I was right, it was rubbish. Infuriating drivel that nearly had me throwing my kindle across the room. I not only did not finish it, but I’m wishing I could forget this book ever happened.

You really do need a Plot

It does kinda have a plot, but my god it is weak. Are we really expected to believe that a debased currency is enough to cause the complete collapse of an empire? Because historically it has never been so.

The story is then bogged-down in endless, pointless scenes that do nothing to move the plot or the character development (what little there is of it) forward. Take the bath-house scene – none of which makes any sense. Why are there multiple colossal bathing rooms in this palace (how big is the damn place anyway? – I think Americans have no idea what size medieval castles actually were). Why is there nobody else in this place? Why does the useless prince wear a robe to get washed in? Why does the idiot soldier need to wash his hair? And for god sake why does he continue to be a stuck-up bitch afterwards. If I had to sit through this scene why couldn’t it forward the goddamn relationship? I’m starting to think authors in this genre think to themselves ‘Oh! Book X had a juicy bathing scene, I better add one in my book!’ I like a hot and heavy bathing scene as much as the next person, but can it have some meaning please?

The key part is World-Building

It speaks to a lack of world-building. This isn’t a fantasy story, its a contemporary romance playing dress-up. Modern attitudes, modern concerns and modern amenities painted with brass. I’m not saying a fantasy has to be realistic or historical, but put some fucking effort into working out how the damn place works.

Also the blurb (and positive reviews – I cant believe there were glowing reviews) kept pumping the Ottoman empire inspirations – and sure if you consider having a Sultan and wearing kaftans to be enough.

Kill your Darlings

And OMG why, why does the author keep redeeming the fucking antagonists half way through the story? This is what “kill your darlings” refers to. Sticking to the hard stuff so your story has some drama and therefore some meaning. Instead our author keeps fixing the problems (like the servant who is also the stupid prince’s previous lover), without even allowing her main characters any agency to deal with the problems themselves. And then having to keep adding new characters (200 pages into the book) to try have something to write about.

Actually, that is a characteristic of this waste of a book. The Sultan and the prince have NO agency. They are the most useless, spineless royals ever committed to paper. The problem being that the author wants you to think they are clever and resourceful people, they are not. Almost everything that happens to them gets fixed by someone else (Eozene, its always Eozene). And no I am not referring to Kadou’s anxiety problem. He has crippling anxiety, fine, nice, but we need to see him rise above it, not for it to just get forgotten from one page to the next.

Character happens in steps

Which leads me nicely into the complete lack of character development in this book. I think its best shown by (again) Kadou’s anxiety. The author establishes that he is deeply ashamed of this condition and goes to great lengths to hide it. Then we have a nice breakdown scene where it gets revealed, which also works double to defrost the love interest. Excellent work.

But afterwards he isn’t any more ashamed around them (the witnesses to his breakdown) or any braver, it’s like it never happened. The whole arc just died a pointless death.

Hell most of the romance happens off page – you know that bit where they come to see each other as good people, and off of which the sexy bits are then built, you know the reason people read enemies-to-lovers stories – that thing, off page, disgraceful.

Also the taste-touching metal thing as been entirely ancillary to the plot. Just a cool world detail. Maybe it gets important in wrapping up the story, but I don’t expect it to. (in case its not obvious I did not finish this horror show.)

Basically this book feels like some middling fan-fiction that was scraped off the internet and printed. All I can say is I’m glad I didn’t have to pay for it.